Zombies? In Clemson!?

The U.S. Marine Corps are fielding heavy criticism after attacking students at Clemson University whom they assumed were zombies. Over 400 are injured and in critical care in what the marines are calling just another case of friendly fire.

When questioned on the issue General Kill had this to say: "Well you never know, zombies could come up at any time and we have to stay vigilant. Just because a few students might die this doesn't mean we should cut from our counter-zombie program. We think we'll keep with our current plan and just hope it doesn't happen again."

When asked about why the Marines thought that the students were zombies, Gen. Kill replied, "Have you seen them? We set a perimeter up for 2 weeks. At first we thought they might be students but none of them ever go to class. After a while, we realized they all look the same and seem to do the same things. Eventually, we couldn't find one thing human about them... we figured, yup, must be Zombies. Based on that we had to bring the troops in."

Despite the tragedy, the school will remain open with no delay. Those absent due to tank shells or bullet wounds will be held responsible for being absent and any assignments.